Orang Gaptek vs SPG

[red>,<hair]

Orang Gaptek( OG) VS SPG gaptek berbincang di pameran komputer.

OG : "Mbak, mau nanya dong? 'ENTER' itu maksudnya apa?"
SPG : "Kayaknya untuk mempercepat program deh Mas!"

OG : "Mempercepat gimana maksudnya mbak?"
SPG : "Ya biar cepet kerjanya Mas. kalo tulisan nya ENTAR, khan jadinya lamaaa!!"

OG: "Oww, tanya lagi ya Mbak, ini saya sudah masuk ke Internet Explorer. Kok saya ketik Facebook.com, nggak keluar apa-apa yah?"
SPG : "Lah, di depan nya Mas sudah ngetik www belum Mas?"

OG : "Memangnya harus ya Mbak, sebenarnya www itu apa?"
SPG : "Eeeehhmmmm... Apa yah? Pokoknya kalo mau masuk ke website memang harus ketik www itu Mas, kode permisi gitu lhooh. kayak nya kalau ngak salah singkatan dari Wassalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh..."

OG : ???????

[Alethia]

suapin reddy ijo2

[red>,<hair]

makasih mumu ...



padahal siggynya d bikin buat ngucapin makasi buat yg maren uda kasi ijo2 ampe nambah 1 bar

[itsreza]

tuh dikasih ijo lagi mba

[Fere]

hari ini kopi saya udah habis..

[Alethia]

Salam buat nyai sumpe ya bilang ntr tak susul nang solo...kekekeke..kita gathering.ocaaaii

[red>,<hair]

tuh dikasih ijo lagi mba

itu bukan pengalam pribadi om >> eh perna g y dlu nanya kek gt

hari ini kopi saya udah habis..

g harus hari ini kok om

Salam buat nyai sumpe ya bilang ntr tak susul nang solo...kekekeke..kita gathering.ocaaaii

asekkkkk beneran ne tak sampein dah

[itsreza]

hari ini kopi saya udah habis..

ga ada thanks kopi pun jadi

[AsLan]

wkowkow... TS nya gaptek...

besok2 kalo ada perintah "Press Any key to Continue" bakalan bingung seharian nyari tombol "Any" di keyboard...

[red>,<hair]

jiahh om Aslan jangan buka rahasia dong

[t_cl]

1 ) Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the
Open Desktop."
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a
pop-up
menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you
have done up
until
thispoint?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I
wrote
'click'."
----------------------------------------
2) Customer : "I received the software update you
sent, but I am still
getting
the same error message."
Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it
to work?"
--------------------------------------------------
3) Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft
Word."
Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me
what it
says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and
Recovery
disk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."
--------------------------------------------------
4) Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your
software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)
--------------------------------------------------
5) Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of
the screen,
canyou see
the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from
there?"
Tech support : ##### ***
--------------------------------------------------
6) Tech Support : "What type of computer do you
have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech support : ******_____####
--------------------------------------------------
7) Tech Support : "What operating system are you
running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech support : ////-----+++
--------------------------------------------------
Customer : "My computer's telling me I performed
an illegal
abortion."
Tech support : ??????
--------------------------------------------------
9) Customer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Tech Support : ?!%#$
--------------------------------------------------
10) Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech support : ??????
--------------------------------------------------
11) Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I
urgently need to
print
document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support : "What does it say?"
Customer : "Something about an error and non-
system disk."
Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there a
floppy
inside?"
Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's
an Intel
inside."
Tech support : @@@@@
--------------------------------------------------
12) Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a
problem. We're open
24
hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
--------------------------------------------------
13) Tech Support : "What does the screen say now?"
Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support : "Well?"
Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"
Tech support : *** ---- ++++

---------- Post Merged at 03:07 PM ----------

Operator: ‘Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I
help you?’
Caller: ‘Yes, well, I’m having trouble with
WordPerfect.’
Operator: ‘What sort of trouble?’
Caller: ‘Well, I was just typing along, and all
of a sudden the words went away.’
Operator: ‘Went away?’
Caller: ‘They disappeared’
Operator: ‘Hmm. So what does your screen look
like now?’
Caller: ‘Nothing.’
Operator: ‘Nothing?’
Caller: ‘It’s blank; it won’t accept anything
when I type.’
Operator: ‘Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you
get out?’
Caller: ‘How do I tell?’
Operator: ‘Can you see the ‘C: prompt’ on the
screen?’
Caller: ‘What’s a sea-prompt?’
Operator: ‘Never mind, can you move your
cursor around the screen?’
Caller: ‘There isn’t any cursor; I told you, it
won’t accept anything I type.’
Operator: ‘Does your monitor have a power
indicator??’
Caller: ‘What’s a monitor?’
Operator: ‘It’s the thing with the screen on it that
looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you
when it’s on?’
Caller: ‘I don’t know.’
Operator: ‘Well, then look on the back of the
monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.
Can you see that?’
Caller: ‘Yes, I think so.’
Operator: ‘Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and
tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.’
Caller: ‘Yes, it is.’
Operator: ‘When you were behind the monitor,
did you notice that there were two cables plugged
into the back of it, not just one? ‘
Caller: ‘No.’
Operator: ‘Well, there are. I need you to look
back there again and find the other cable.’
Caller: ‘Okay, here it is.’
Operator: ‘Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s
plugged securely into the back of your computer.’
Caller: ‘I can’t reach.’
Operator: ‘OK. Well, can you see if it is?’
Caller: ‘No.’
Operator: ‘Even if you maybe put your knee on
something and lean way over?’
Caller: ‘Well, it’s not because I don’t have the
right angle – it’s because it’s dark.’
Operator: ‘Dark?’
Caller: ‘Yes – the office light is off, and the
only light I have is coming in from the window.’
Operator: ‘Well, turn on the office light then.’
Caller: ‘I can’t.’
Operator: ‘No? Why not?’
Caller: ‘Because there’s a power failure.’
Operator: ‘A power … A power failure ? Aha.
Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the
boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your
computer came in?’
Caller: ‘Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.’
Operator: ‘Good. Go get them, and unplug your
system and pack it up just like it was when you got
it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.’
Caller: ‘Really? Is it that bad?’
Operator: ‘Yes, I’m afraid it is.’
Caller: ‘Well, all right then, I suppose. What
do I tell them?’
Operator: ‘Tell them you’re too stupid to own a
computer!’

[t_cl]

Customer: "I got this problem.
You people sent me this install
disk, and now my A: drive won't
work."
Tech Support: "Your A drive
won't work?"
Customer: "That's what I said.
You sent me a bad disk, it got
stuck in my drive, now it won't
work at all."
Tech Support: "Did it not install
properly? What kind of error
messages did you get?"
Customer: "I didn't get any error
message. The disk got stuck in
the drive and wouldn't come out.
So I got these pliers and tried to
get it out. That didn't work
either."
Tech Support: "You did what
sir?"
Customer: "I got these pliers, and
tried to get the disk out, but it
wouldn't budge. I just ended up
cracking the plastic stuff a bit."
Tech Support: "I don't
understand sir, did you push the
eject button?"
Customer: "No, so then I got a
stick of butter and melted it and
used a turkey baster and put the
butter in the drive, around the
disk, and that got it loose. Then I
used the pliers and it came out
fine. I can't believe you would
send me a disk that was broke
and defective."
Tech Support: "Let me get this
clear. You put melted butter in
your A: drive and used pliers to
pull the disk out?"
At this point, I put the call on
the speaker phone and motioned
at the other techs to listen in.
Tech Support: "Just so I am
absolutely clear on this, can you
repeat what you just said?"
Customer: "I said I put butter in
my A: drive to get your crappy
disk out, then I had to use pliers
to pull it out."
Tech Support: "Did you push that
little button that was sticking out
when the disk was in the drive,
you know, the thing called the
disk eject button?"
Silence.
Tech Support: "Sir?"
Customer: "Yes."
Tech Support: "Sir, did you push
the eject button?"
Customer: "No, but you people
are going to fix my computer, or
I am going to sue you for
breaking my computer?"
Tech Support: "Let me get this
straight. You are going to sue
our company because you put
the disk in the A: drive, didn't
follow the instructions we sent
you, didn't actually seek
professional advice, didn't
consult your user's manual on
how to use your computer
properly, instead proceeding to
pour butter into the drive and
physically rip the disk out?"
Customer: "Ummmm."
Tech Support: "Do you really
think you stand a chance, since
we do record every call and have
it on tape?"
Customer: (now rather humbled)
"But you're supposed to help!"
Tech Support: "I am sorry sir,
but there is nothing we can do
for you. Have a nice day."

---------- Post Merged at 03:29 PM ----------

Compaq is considering changing the command "Press
Any Key" to "Press Enter Key" because of the flood of
calls asking where the Any Key is. *
AST technical support had a caller complaining that
her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover
on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the
mouse was packaged in. *
Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of
her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter
arrived from the customer along with photocopies of
the floppies. *
Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his
computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of
troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man
was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in
front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send"
key. *
A Dell technician received a call from a customer who
was enraged because his computer had told him he
was "bad and an invalid." The tech explained that the
computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses
shouldn't be taken personally. *
A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing
documents. He told the technician that the computer
had said it "couldn't find printer." The user had also
tried turning the computer screen to face the printer
but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer."
*
An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support
couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After
ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician
asked her what happened when she pushed the
power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed
on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot
pedal" turned out to be the mouse. *
Another customer called Compaq tech support to say
her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she
unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20
minutes waiting for something to happen. When
asked what happened when she pressed the power
switch, she asked "What power switch?" *
Another IBM customer had troubles installing
software and rang for support. "I put in the first
disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it
said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...."
The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" meant to
remove Disk 1 first. *
In a similar incident, a customer had followed the
instructions for installing software. The instructions
said to remove the disk from its cover and insert into
the drive. The user had physically removed the
casing of the disk and wondered why there were
problems. *
True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop: Caller:
"Hello, is this Tech Support?" Tech: "Yes, it is. How may
I help you?" Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is
broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I
go about getting that fixed?" Tech: "I'm sorry, but did
you say a cup holder?" Caller: "Yes, it's attached to
the front of my computer." Tech: "Please excuse me.
If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you
receive this as part of a promotional at a trade
show? How did you get this cup holder? Caller: It
came with my computer. I don't know anything about
a promotion. It just has '4X' on it." At this point, the
Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't
stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had
been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a
cup holder and snapped it off the drive. *
A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem
with her printer. The tech asked her if she was
running it under Windows." The woman responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good
point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is
under a window and his printer is working fine." *
Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and
escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task
list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P"
to bring up the Program Manager." Customer: "I don't
have a 'P'." Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob." Customer:
"What do you mean?" Tech: "'P' on your keyboard,
Bob." Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"
Got a call from a woman said that her laser printer
was having problems, the bottom half of her printed
sheets were coming out blurry. It seemed strange
that the printer was smearing only the bottom half. I
walked her through the basics, then went over and
printed out a test sheet. It printed fine. I asked her to
print a sheet, so she sent a job to the printer. As the
paper started coming out, she yanked it out and
showed it to me. I told her to wait until the paper
came out on its own. Problem solved.
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's
DeskJet division for about a month when I had a
customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She
could not print yellow. All the other colors would print
fine, which truly baffled me because the only true
colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. For instance,
green is a combination of cyan and yellow, but green
printed fine. Every color of the rainbow printed fine
except for yellow. I had the customer change ink
cartridges. I had the customer delete and reinstall
the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers
for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two
hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the
customer to send the printer in to us for repair when
she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of
white paper instead of this yellow paper?"
A man attempting to set up his new printer called the
printer's tech support number, complaining about
the error message: "Can't find the printer." On the
phone, the man said he even held the printer up in
front of the screen, but the computer still couldn't
find it.
And another user was all confused about why the
cursor always moved in the opposite direction from
the movement of the mouse. She also complained
that the buttons were difficult to depress. She was
very embarrassed when we asked her to rotate the
mouse so the tail pointed away from her.
For a computer programming class, I sat directly
across from someone, and our computers were
facing away from each other. A few minutes into the
class, she got up to leave the room. I reached
between our computers and switched the inputs for
the keyboards. She came back and started typing
and immediately got a distressed look on her face.
She called the tutor over and explained that no
matter what she typed, nothing would happen. The
tutor tried everything. By this time I was hiding behind
my monitor and quaking red-faced. I typed, "Leave
me alone!" They both jumped back as this appeared
on their screen. "What the..." the tutor said. I typed, "I
said leave me alone!" The kid got real upset. "I didn't
do anything to it, I swear!" It was all I could do to
keep from laughing out loud. The conversation
between them and HAL 2000 went on for an amazing
five minutes. Me: "Don't touch me!" Her: "I'm sorry, I
didn't mean to hit your keys that hard." Me: "Who do
you think you are anyway?!" Etc. Finally, I couldn't
contain myself any longer, and fell out of my chair
laughing. After they had realized what I had done,
they both turned beet red. Funny, I never got more
than a C- in that class.
This guy calls in to complain that he gets an "Access
Denied" message every time he logs in. It turned out
he was typing his username and password in capital
letters. Tech Support: "OK, let's try once more, but
use lower case letters." Customer: "Uh, I only have
capital letters on my keyboard."
Email from a friend:
"CanYouFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?"
My friend was on duty in the main lab on a quiet
afternoon. He noticed a young woman sitting in front
of one of the workstations with her arms crossed
across her chest, staring at the screen. After about 15
minutes he noticed that she was still in the same
position, only now she was impatiently tapping her
foot. He asked if she needed help and she replied,
"It's about time! I pressed the F1 button over twenty
minutes ago!"

[cha_n]

spg nya mana?

[red>,<hair]

aq mumet le moco

[GiKu]

^
tuh.... SPGnya aja pusing

[red>,<hair]

om giku g mumet y?

[lily]

Hihihihihi lucu euy

[t_cl]

spg nya diambil alih cs

[hktoyshop]

haduh..
koplak banget thu SPG nya,sama orang gaptek nya.