Joke of the Day

[Nowitzki]

Always A Barista, Never A Bride
Coffee shop | Hillsboro, OR, USA

(An older gentleman comes in to order his coffee. He is a regular customer and a lot of times his wife will come in with him, but today she is running late.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

Customer: “Just coffee.”

Me: “Alright, that’ll be a $1.50.”

Customer: “Are you somebody’s bride?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “You know, a wife. Are you somebody’s wife?”

Me: “Not last time I checked, no.”

Customer: “Because I need a bride to warm my hands on and mine is nowhere to be found.”

Me: “Oh. Let’s hope she gets here soon, then.”


Source

[kunderemp]

Wow.
I have to learn that from the old gentleman.

[Nowitzki]

A Duck Walks Into A Bar


A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we have no bread."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we haven't got any bread!"

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any bread, and if you ask me again and I'll nail your dang beak to the bar you irritating dang duck!"

Duck says: "Got any nails?"

Barman says: "No"

Duck says: "Got any bread?

Source

[kandalf]

Wow.. I didn't understand the last joke until I read the Indonesian version.
What an annoying duck.

[noodles maniac]

hahaha sama kayak kue ijo ternyata

[Nowitzki]

hahaha sama kayak kue ijo ternyata

English please

wkwkwk, yeah, I've just visit your thread, it is also funny.

[Nowitzki]

hahaha sama kayak kue ijo ternyata

English please

wkwkwk, yeah, I've just visit your thread, it is also funny.

[Nowitzki]

The Day The Music Died, Part 2


Customer: “Hi, can you play me a song?”

Me: “Sure. What song?”

Customer: “I don’t remember the name of it.”

Me: “Okay. Well, what was the song about?”

Customer: “I think it was about love.”

Me: “That doesn’t really narrow it down. Think about who sings it. Is it a female vocalist, small group, choir?”

Customer: “Yeah, one of those.”

Me: “I don’t think I can help you.”

Customer: “Okay. Do you know where I could get a CD of it?”




Studying Post-Grammatic Stress


(I work for the university Psychology department where several labs have students participate in experiments. A girl is wandering around the hall looking lost.)

Me: “Excuse me, but you look a little lost. Can I help you find something?”

Volunteer: “Yeah, I signed up to participate in an experiment, but I don’t remember which one or what the requirements were.”

Me: “Alright, that’s fine. We can look you up on one of our computers. Can I have your name?”

Volunteer: “[Name].”

(I go to the office computer and her name, the experiment and the requirements.)

Me: “Alright, well it looks like you’re going to be in the lab down the hall and the only requirement is that you should be a native English speaker.”

Volunteer: “Oh, but I don’t know that language.”

Me: “What language?”

Volunteer: “Native English, I’m not familiar with that language, only regular English. I’ll just go tell them I can’t do it. Thanks!”

[kandalf]

I only speak regular Indonesian, not native Indonesian.

[Nowitzki]

This Vegetarian Is A Red Herring
Restaurant | Orillia, ON, Canada

Customer: “I’d like your chicken caesar wrap, please. With no chicken or bacon bits.”

Me: “Are you a vegetarian?”

Customer: “Yes, why?”

Me: “Well, I just wanted you to know that the caesar salad dressing has anchovy paste in it.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “Anchovy is a kind of fish.”

Customer: “I said I was vegetarian, not vegan.”

[kandalf]

Moral of the story:
never argue to any grammar nazi.

http://www.thedoghousediaries.com/?p=2735

[sumpe gw klonengan]

[noodles maniac]

Abdul al-Rhazib terrifying human indeed

[Fere]

abdul = nudel ?

[Urzu 7]

Carry on ladies...just passing through

[hajime_saitoh]

This Vegetarian Is A Red Herring
Restaurant | Orillia, ON, Canada

Customer: “I’d like your chicken caesar wrap, please. With no chicken or bacon bits.”

Me: “Are you a vegetarian?”

Customer: “Yes, why?”

Me: “Well, I just wanted you to know that the caesar salad dressing has anchovy paste in it.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “Anchovy is a kind of fish.”

Customer: “I said I was vegetarian, not vegan.”

what is the different betwen vegetarian and vegan???
what is vegan???

[Urzu 7]

^ vegan is new species fish

[Fere]

^
halah..

Veganism is a type of vegetarian diet that excludes meat, eggs, dairy products and all other animal-derived ingredients.
Many vegans also do not eat foods that are processed using animal products, such as refined white sugar and some wines. Most vegans also avoid the use of all products tested on animals, as well as animal-derived non-food products, such as leather, fur and wool.

Vegan refers to either a person who follows this way of eating, or to the diet itself.

[noodles maniac]

abdul = nudel ?

Damn you :