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Thread: Golden word

  1. #121
    pelanggan setia mbok jamu's Avatar
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    Did you write the last one, Kong?
    "The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why." - Mark Twain

  2. #122
    pelanggan sejati surjadi05's Avatar
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    ^^^
    Nope: i wish to add not change

  3. #123
    pelanggan sejati surjadi05's Avatar
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    Just for Laughs .... Dedicated to all ..... g😮😮d wife

    🔴 Wife : "Shall I prepare Curry or Soup today?"
    Husband : "First make it, we will name it later!"

    🔴 A frustrated husband in front of his laptop : "Dear Google, please do not behave like my wife. Please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing & suggesting".

    🔴 A married man's prayer : "Dear God, You gave me childhood, You took it away, You gave me youth, You took it away, You gave me a wife ... Its been years now, just reminding You".

    🔴 Husband : "I found Aladdin's lamp today".
    Wife : "Wow, what did u ask for darling??"
    Husband : "I asked him to increase your brain ten times"
    Wife : "Oh darling.. love u so much.. Did he do that??"
    Husband : "He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero"

    🔴 Employee : "Sir, you are like a lion in the office! What about at home ???"
    Boss : "I am a lion at home too, but there I have a lion tamer"

    🔴 A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said : "The food looks delicious, let's eat"
    Wife : "Honey ... you say prayer before eating at home"
    Husband : "That's at home sweetheart, here the chef knows how to cook".

    🔴 Best Slogan on a MAN's T-Shirt : "Please Do Not Disturb me, I am Married and already very Disturbed".
    you meet someone
    you two get close
    its all great for awhile
    then someone stops trying
    Talk less, awkward conversations, the drifting
    No communication whatsoever
    Memories start to fade
    Then the person you know become the person u knew
    That how it goes. Sad isn't it?

  4. #124
    pelanggan sejati surjadi05's Avatar
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    *Minta kawin*

    Anak : "Pak, aku mau diskusi sebentar...!"
    Bapak : "Ada apa..?"
    Anak : "Aku ingin nikah pak...!" 😭
    Bapak : "Lho kamu kan belum kerja... kuliah blum selesai !"
    Anak : "Kalo ada bini kan lebih semangat cari kerja ama kuliahnya, pak..!"
    Bapak : "Ngawur aja kamu !!, bilang sono sama Ibumu, pasti dimarahi..!"

    (Lantas si anak segera menuju ke dapur dg penuh harap)

    Anak : "Bu... Aku udah engga konsen kuliah..
    aku mau nikah aja lah Bu...!"
    Ibu: "Apa.....???, 😬Anak enggak tau malu...!!
    Belum kerja, sekolah ngga beres udah ingin nikah, anak macam apa kamu haah !?...Mau kasih makan apa bini mu ?. Udah sono jgn ganggu Ibu masak....!!
    Macam2 aja..! 🙄

    (Balik ke Bapaknya)

    Bapak : "Kamu Udah bilang sama Ibu ?"
    Anak : "Udah, pak...!"
    Bapak : "Terus..?"
    Anak : "Diomelin abis pak....!" 😓
    Bapak : "Apa kata bapak juga... Lha wong bapak aja ngomong sama Ibumu minta kawin... dimaki & dihajar habis! Padahal bapak kuliah sudah selesai, kerja juga getol, rumah dua, mobil dua. Masih dimarahi. Apalagi kamu!😝😝😀😀😅😂


    Moral of d story :: bini always rite
    you meet someone
    you two get close
    its all great for awhile
    then someone stops trying
    Talk less, awkward conversations, the drifting
    No communication whatsoever
    Memories start to fade
    Then the person you know become the person u knew
    That how it goes. Sad isn't it?

  5. #125
    Chief Cook GiKu's Avatar
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    ^

    engkong banget

  6. #126
    pelanggan sejati surjadi05's Avatar
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    Lama2 gw ngerasa om giku mirip kasino, sering cuma nyeletuk tapi kena nanget
    you meet someone
    you two get close
    its all great for awhile
    then someone stops trying
    Talk less, awkward conversations, the drifting
    No communication whatsoever
    Memories start to fade
    Then the person you know become the person u knew
    That how it goes. Sad isn't it?

  7. #127
    pelanggan sejati surjadi05's Avatar
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    Humor dulu....

    In a Nursery School Canteen, a basket of apples with a notice written over it:

    "Do not take more than one, God is watching"

    On the other counter there's a box of chocolates. A small child went & wrote on it.
    "Take as many as you want, God is busy watching the apples".

    Moral: NEVER ACT SMART with today's generation..!!.

    -------------------------

    KID: "Why some of your hair are white Dad?"
    DAD: "Every time you make me unhappy, one of my hair turns white ….."
    KID: "Now understand why grandpa’s hairs are all white….."

    Moral: Don’t be over smart ..

    *************************
    Child : "Mummy why Gandhi has no hair on his head?"
    Mummy: "Because he speak only truth."
    Child: "Now I understood why ladies have long hair...."

    _______________________________
    TEACHER: Bunyau, go to the map and find North America .
    Bunyau: Here it is.
    TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
    CLASS: Bunyau.
    _______________________________
    TEACHER: Mujab, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
    MUJAB: You told me to do it without using the tables.
    _______________________________
    TEACHER: Jedun,, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
    Jedun : K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
    TEACHER: No, that's wrong
    Jedun : Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
    (I Love this child)
    _______________________________
    TEACHER: Bunyau, what is the chemical formula for water?
    Bunyau : H I J K L M N O.
    TEACHER: What are you talking about?
    Bunyau : Yesterday you said it's H to O.
    _______________________________
    TEACHER: Jegit , name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
    Jegit : Me !
    _______________________________
    TEACHER: Jugau , why do you always get so dirty?
    Jugau : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
    _______________________________
    TEACHER: Bunyau, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
    BUNYAU: I is...
    TEACHER: No, Bunyau...... always say, 'I am.'
    BUNYAU: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet'
    _______________________________
    TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Sundun, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
    SUNDUN: Because George still had the axe in his hand......
    _______________________________
    TEACHER: Now, Jegit , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
    JEGIT: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
    ______________________________
    TEACHER: Mujab, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
    MUJAB : No sir, It's the same dog.
    (I want to adopt this kid!!!)
    ____________________________
    TEACHER: Bunyau, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
    Bunyau : Teacher

    Moral of d story :student
    you meet someone
    you two get close
    its all great for awhile
    then someone stops trying
    Talk less, awkward conversations, the drifting
    No communication whatsoever
    Memories start to fade
    Then the person you know become the person u knew
    That how it goes. Sad isn't it?

  8. #128
    pelanggan setia Yuki's Avatar
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    nama muridnya aneh-aneh
    CURE SUNSHINE WA KAKKOSUGIRU.

  9. #129
    pelanggan sejati surjadi05's Avatar
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    International school om
    you meet someone
    you two get close
    its all great for awhile
    then someone stops trying
    Talk less, awkward conversations, the drifting
    No communication whatsoever
    Memories start to fade
    Then the person you know become the person u knew
    That how it goes. Sad isn't it?

  10. #130
    pelanggan setia Yuki's Avatar
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    International school level asia maksudnya
    CURE SUNSHINE WA KAKKOSUGIRU.

  11. #131
    pelanggan sejati surjadi05's Avatar
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    Hooh om
    you meet someone
    you two get close
    its all great for awhile
    then someone stops trying
    Talk less, awkward conversations, the drifting
    No communication whatsoever
    Memories start to fade
    Then the person you know become the person u knew
    That how it goes. Sad isn't it?

  12. #132
    pelanggan sejati surjadi05's Avatar
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    *_ISTRI CEREWET_*

    Alkisah terdapat sepasang suami-istri 👫
    Sang suami yang penyabar, sedangkan sang istri bertabiat ketus, suka marah; cerewet...
    Karena tidak tahan, suatu pagi sang suami mendorong istrinya ke sumur yang tidak begitu dalam.

    Siang hari, suami berkata dalam hati..."enaknya gak ada yang marah2" 😂😂😂

    Sorenya...si suami masih menikmati ketenangan suasana😄😄😄

    Saat malam tiba...si suami mulai gelisah...
    lalu memutuskan untuk mengeluarkan istrinya dari dalam sumur😩😩😩

    Setelah melemparkan tali, si suami berkata:
    "Istriku, maafkan aku. Aku khilaf. Kita ini saling melengkapi. Keluarlah sayang. Aku kangen".

    Tali pun bergerak perlahan, tiba2 dari bibir sumur muncullah sesosok hantu berwujud orang tua dengan jenggot; rambut putih yang panjang menakutkan...

    Suami : Siapa kamu?? 😱
    Hantu : Aku hantu penunggu sumur !! 👻
    Suami : Mana istriku?...aku rindu padanya...kau apakan dia??!!
    Hantu : Istrimu baik2 saja di dalam...
    Suami : Lalu kenapa kau yang muncul dari dalam sumur ini??
    Hantu : *Aku mau keluar saja, Aku pun tidak tahan dengar omelan istrimu...*
    😀😀😀😀😀😜😜😜😜

    💃​​💃​​💃​​

    Pesan Moral.. *Milikilah istri yang cerewet agar rumah anda bebas dari HANTU.*
    Met siang semua....😀😀😀😀

    🙏🏻😍😇😘🙂🤣😂
    Posted via Mobile Device
    you meet someone
    you two get close
    its all great for awhile
    then someone stops trying
    Talk less, awkward conversations, the drifting
    No communication whatsoever
    Memories start to fade
    Then the person you know become the person u knew
    That how it goes. Sad isn't it?

  13. #133
    pelanggan sejati surjadi05's Avatar
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    Ching Ming joke:
    THE DISCUSSION BETWEEN TWO GHOSTS
    _ _________________,
    Ghost 1: Hey
    Ghost 2: Hey
    Ghost 1: How did you die??
    Ghost 2: I was mistakenly locked up in a refrigerator. At first, i was chilling, then, i started freezing, and then, i couldn't breathe again... i died of suffocation.
    Ghost 1: Wow.... what a sad way to die.
    Ghost 2: Yeah. How did u die?
    Ghost 1: I died of heart attack.
    Ghost 2: What happened?
    Ghost 1: My wife cheated on me. i came back home and saw a man's pair of shoes. then, i rushed to the bedroom and met only my wife there. She was naked. i knew there was a man in the house coz my neighbor told me. and the man was still in the house as my wife was undressed and scared. so, i started running and searching the whole house. i searched in the kid's room, kitchen, toilet, bathroom, wardrobe and dinning. i couldn't find him and i was very tired of running, so i got a heart attack.
    Ghost 2: IDIOT!!!! If u would have checked the refrigerator we would have been both alive by now!!! 😜😜😜😂😂😂

    Moral of d story rajin2 olahraga eh, oh
    Posted via Mobile Device
    you meet someone
    you two get close
    its all great for awhile
    then someone stops trying
    Talk less, awkward conversations, the drifting
    No communication whatsoever
    Memories start to fade
    Then the person you know become the person u knew
    That how it goes. Sad isn't it?

  14. #134
    pelanggan setia Yuki's Avatar
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    Moral of the story: kalo mau masuk kulkas jangan lupa pake jaket
    CURE SUNSHINE WA KAKKOSUGIRU.

  15. #135
    pelanggan sejati surjadi05's Avatar
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    Ayo Jadi Suami yg Romantis..

    *Bpk* : "bu,, jangan terlalu lama duduk di kursi itu, pindah sini dekat bpk aja…"
    *Ibu* : "loh, kenapa pak?"
    *Bpk* : "takut dikerubungi semut,, soalnya ibu manis sih…" (ciyeee) ☺

    *Bpk* : "Bu,, orang tua ibu dulu pengrajin bantal ya?"
    *Ibu* : "Hah…?! Bukan, kan bpk tahu pensiunan PNS, kenapa pak…? "
    *Bpk* : "Kok kalo deket ibu rasanya selalu ingin tidur…"
    (suit.. Suiiit...) 😃

    *Bpk* : "Ibu itu seperti sendok…"
    *Ibu* : "Kenapa…?"
    *Bpk* : "Karena ibu terus mengaduk-aduk perasaan bpk.."
    (yiihaaaa) 😃

    *Bpk* : "Maaf ya bu, belakangan ini tangan bpk agak kasar…"
    *Ibu* : "Ahh,, gpp kookk,, emangnya kenapa?"
    *Bpk* : "Soalnya tiap hari bpk jadi kuli…"
    *Ibu* : "Yang bener pak, dimana…?"
    *Bpk* : "Di hati kamu say, bpk sedang buatin istana cinta buat kita berdua…"
    (olalaaa....)😃

    *Bpk* : "Kenapa kita cuma bisa ngeliat pelangi setengah doang…?"
    *Ibu* : "Ga tau, emang kenapa pak..?"
    *Bpk* : "Soalnya setengahnya lagi ada di mata ibu…!"
    (prikitiuuw..) 😃

    *Bpk* : "Boleh pinjem flashdisknya bu…?"
    *Ibu* : "Boleh, mau buat apa pak…?"
    *Bpk* : "Buat transfer hatiku ke hatimu..."
    (wkwkwk) 😃

    *Ibu* : "Lho pak.. mau kemana?
    *Bpk* : "Cari ibu lagi.."
    *Ibu* : "Lho kok...???"
    *Bpk* : "Lha satu aja bahagianya begini, apalagi dua...???

    (Gubraak.....!!!😛&#128539
    Dilempar tabung gas 3 kg......🤦


    Moral of d story : errrr
    Posted via Mobile Device
    you meet someone
    you two get close
    its all great for awhile
    then someone stops trying
    Talk less, awkward conversations, the drifting
    No communication whatsoever
    Memories start to fade
    Then the person you know become the person u knew
    That how it goes. Sad isn't it?

  16. #136
    pelanggan sejati surjadi05's Avatar
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    After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks kinda strange so she decides to do a DNA test.
    She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.
    Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you
    Husband: What’s up?
    Wife: According to DNA test results, this is not our kid !

    Husband: Well you don’t remember, do you??
    When we were leaving the hospital, we noticed that our baby had pooped.
    Then you said:- Please go change the baby, I’ll wait for you here.
    So I went inside, got a clean one and left the dirty one there. !!!!!!
    😂😂😂😂
    Moral: Never give a man a job that doesn't belong to him !!!!!😍💕👌😂😀
    Posted via Mobile Device
    you meet someone
    you two get close
    its all great for awhile
    then someone stops trying
    Talk less, awkward conversations, the drifting
    No communication whatsoever
    Memories start to fade
    Then the person you know become the person u knew
    That how it goes. Sad isn't it?

  17. #137
    pelanggan sejati surjadi05's Avatar
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    *3 Fucking Laws of Management - If you learn them, no one can beat you in Corporate Management, but unfortunately even Harvard Business School does not teach them...*

    1. *Fucking Law of Delivery Time -* No matter how hard and fast you ****, the child comes after 9 months.
    *Moral -* Pressurizing does not alter delivery period.

    2. *Fucking Law of Direction -* Even though both holes are nearby, if by a wrong shot, you enter the wrong hole, no matter how hard you ****, you never get a child.
    *Moral -* Right direction is very important to get the results, even few centimeters away from right direction, even if it gives satisfaction, cannot lead to results.

    3. *Fucking Law of Human Resources -* By appointing 4 men to **** 1 woman, you cannot get 4 children, but if you appoint one man and 4 women, you can get 4 children.
    *Moral -* Appoint the right person at the right position. Otherwise you would keep on wondering, why you are not getting the results even after appointing more men.

    *Forward to all Hard working employees.*😍💕👌😂😊😄
    Posted via Mobile Device

    - - - Updated - - -

    *3 Fucking Laws of Management - If you learn them, no one can beat you in Corporate Management, but unfortunately even Harvard Business School does not teach them...*

    1. *Fucking Law of Delivery Time -* No matter how hard and fast you ****, the child comes after 9 months.
    *Moral -* Pressurizing does not alter delivery period.

    2. *Fucking Law of Direction -* Even though both holes are nearby, if by a wrong shot, you enter the wrong hole, no matter how hard you ****, you never get a child.
    *Moral -* Right direction is very important to get the results, even few centimeters away from right direction, even if it gives satisfaction, cannot lead to results.

    3. *Fucking Law of Human Resources -* By appointing 4 men to **** 1 woman, you cannot get 4 children, but if you appoint one man and 4 women, you can get 4 children.
    *Moral -* Appoint the right person at the right position. Otherwise you would keep on wondering, why you are not getting the results even after appointing more men.

    *Forward to all Hard working employees.*😍💕👌😂😊😄
    Posted via Mobile Device
    you meet someone
    you two get close
    its all great for awhile
    then someone stops trying
    Talk less, awkward conversations, the drifting
    No communication whatsoever
    Memories start to fade
    Then the person you know become the person u knew
    That how it goes. Sad isn't it?

  18. #138
    pelanggan sejati surjadi05's Avatar
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    Mana yang lebih simple

    Inggris : wait a minute
    Indo : Tunggu sebentar
    Jawa : Sik

    Inggris : like to following someone
    Indo : suka mengikuti seseorang
    Jawa : Ngintilan

    Inggris : They're living together but didn't married
    Indo : Tinggal bersama tapi tidak menikah
    Jawa : Kumpul kebo

    Inggris : I want to sleep
    Indo : Saya mau tidur
    Jawa : Micek

    Inggris : you talk to much
    Indo : Kamu banyak berbicara
    Jawa : crigis

    Inggris : I don't want it
    Indo : aku tidak mau itu
    Jawa : moh

    Inggris : Flying so fast
    Indo : Terbang sangat cepat
    Jawa : Mabur

    Inggris : What happened?
    Indo : Apa yang terjadi?
    Jawa : ono opo ?

    Inggris : I dont have money
    Indo : Aku tidak punya uang
    Jawa : Kere

    Inggris : i don't care
    Indo : aku tidak peduli
    Jawa : Prett

    Inggris : Salad with peanut sauce and red rice
    Indo : sayur dengan sambal kacang dan nasi merah
    Jawa : Pecel

    😎😎😎👌😍💕😂
    Posted via Mobile Device
    you meet someone
    you two get close
    its all great for awhile
    then someone stops trying
    Talk less, awkward conversations, the drifting
    No communication whatsoever
    Memories start to fade
    Then the person you know become the person u knew
    That how it goes. Sad isn't it?

  19. #139
    Chief Cook GiKu's Avatar
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    ^
    itu sih bukan golden word

  20. #140
    pelanggan sejati surjadi05's Avatar
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    Hooh om, surjadi teguh nya lagi blenger, jadi yg muncul surjadi gilanya
    Posted via Mobile Device
    you meet someone
    you two get close
    its all great for awhile
    then someone stops trying
    Talk less, awkward conversations, the drifting
    No communication whatsoever
    Memories start to fade
    Then the person you know become the person u knew
    That how it goes. Sad isn't it?

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