Golden word

[serendipity]

Misii om apa gak sebaiknya ini dipindahin ke Curhat & diary gitu ya?
sebab tersirat bahasa tjurhataan yang terselubung di dalam tulisan om sur

[surjadi05]

Misii om apa gak sebaiknya ini dipindahin ke Curhat & diary gitu ya?
sebab tersirat bahasa tjurhataan yang terselubung di dalam tulisan om sur

Kalo dipindahin malah suka lupa, saya sekarang maennya cuma di 3 subforum

Lanjut curhatnya

Istri: Pa, tolong ambilin koran itu dong.

Suami: Ah, kamu ini... Dunia udah semaju sekarang, semua udah serba digital, kamu masiiih aja baca koran. Nih, pake aja iPad-ku.

Lalu sang istri menggunakan iPad tsb utk memukul kecoa di lantai.

Suami-pun pingsan...

Moral of the story: What ever wife asks, just give

[GiKu]

masih ada yg makan pake lauk kecoa ?

turut prihatin

[et dah]

Ikut prihatin om

#SaveSurjadi05

[surjadi05]

😎A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."

"Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"



Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.



The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval;

and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ("el computador"), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem;

and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.



The women won.


Kayaknya lama2 beneran jadi tret curhat gw

[Yuki]

kalo komputer memang cocoknya itu feminin

yg maskulinnya itu si mouse-nya

[surjadi05]

1. Kamasutra says : If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!

⭕2. Did you ever notice: everything on a woman's upper body starts with a "B". Blouse, Bra, Bikini, Boobs & lower body with a "P" Peticoat, panties, pussy... That's origin of "BP"!

⭕3. Before ***, you help each other get naked. After ***, you dress only yourself. Moral: In life no one helps you once you're fucked.

⭕4. Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.

⭕5. What is the difference between frustration and satisfaction? What the ****! and What a ****!

⭕6. 3 people having *** is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!

⭕7. Life is like a dick, sometimes it becomes hard for no reason.

⭕8. Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life..!

⭕When a lady is pregnant,
all her friends touch her stomach ad say "Congrats!".

But none of them come and touch the man's ***** and say "Well done!".

Moral of d story:In life, Hard work is very rarely appreciated: Only result matters.

[gogon]

damn rite Kong Sur

[surjadi05]

Tadi siang terima telp dari nomor yg tdk ada di phone book, ternyata dengar suara cewek nan merdu, mengenalkan diri namanya Ulfa dari Asuransi.

Ulfa: Selamat siang pak, boleh ganggu sebentar?.
Saya: Ya, Ada apa yah ?
Ulfa: Klo pergi kerja naik mobil ?
Saya: Iya jelas.
Ulfa: Bapak nyetir sendiri ?
Saya: Pakai sopir donggg...
Ulfa: Apakah sudah masuk asuransi mobilnya ?
Saya: Saya kira sudah, coba nanti saya tanya.
Ulfa: Berapa nilai mobilnya Pak, bawah 1M, atau 1M lebih ?
Saya: mestinya 1M lebih.
Ulfa: Mobil apa yg Bapak pakai ?
Saya: Busway.
Bruakks..!!! tuuttt...tuuttt...tuuttt... telpon ditutup..😆😀

Moral of d story, jangan memandang orang dari harga mobilnys

[surjadi05]

Tips ML yang menyehatkan & menyenangkan :

1. ML tidak bisa dilakukan sendiri, maka dari itu hendaknya berpasangan (bisa 2 atau Lebih)

2. CariLah pasangan yg bisa diajak komunikasi, kaLau kepepet pengen quickie cari pasangan yg bertubuh bagus dan kuat.

3. Ingat ya ML itu bikin cape,
berkeringat & pasti bikin ngos2an. Karena hrs naik turun, geser geser dan gonta ganti posisi. Maka dari itu komunikasi harus Lancar agar segera mungkin "sampai".

4. Jangan dipaksa kaLau capek di tengah2 ML, mending istirahat, atur nafas, jika perLu minum minuman berenergi.

5. Posisi bisa gantian dgn pasangan ML, bisa atas, bawah, didepan, dibeLakang atau dipinggir sesuai kebutuhan.

6. Disarankan dLm kondisi mood & persiapan yg baik agar ML sukses.

7. Intinya ML harus happy, fokus & terkoordinasi dgn pasangan. KaLau tdk bakaL krg efektif hasilnya, tdk enak, gak menyenangkan, maLah bisa2 sakit pinggang atau bertengkar dengan pasangan.

8. Disarankan utk alas ML, gunakan tikar atau karpet agar tidak lecet perabotnya










Tips "ML" (=Mindahin Lemari) ini dipersembahkan oleh OLYMPIC Furniture.😝😯😃😝😝

[et dah]

^^^ ketauan ML-nya sama cowo mulu nih

[surjadi05]

^^^

Gaklah ett, kalo kamu dah merit kamu bakal menyadari kalo cewe jauh lebih kuat dari co, kalo belum merit ce pintar memanipulasi seolah2 mereka lemah supaya ego cowo soal macho shitt terpenuhi

[serendipity]

itu syarat buat mindahin lemari banyak amat sih om, apa gak sekalian minum obat gitu ya supaya gak langsung KO?

Soalnya seren baca ampe lecet gitu... kasian amat

[surjadi05]

itu syarat buat mindahin lemari banyak amat sih om, apa gak sekalian minum obat gitu ya supaya gak langsung KO?

Soalnya seren baca ampe lecet gitu... kasian amat

Loh bukannya itu bunyi poin 4?

[serendipity]

^ oh iyaa hahahah ketauan belom pengalaman bacanya #eh

[gogon]

.....
Soalnya seren baca ampe lecet gitu... kasian amat

ya ampun Seren baca doang aja bisa ampe lecet ...
Gimana kalo ML beneran

[surjadi05]

Iyaa, bener juga mod, kesimpulan kalo seren mau ml minimal mesti bertiga donk

[serendipity]

................. damn................


kaki gw emang lagi lecet tadi abis jalan hiks...

[surjadi05]

Seorang member ISTI , curhat pada tuhan, "tuhan kenapa wanita imut2 dan istri mengerikan?", tuhan menjawab "saya yg menciptakan wanita dan kalianlah yg 'menciptakan' istri"
Member ISTI ::

Moral of d story : anda menuai apa yg anda tabur????

[surjadi05]

About Wife

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
~By Lee Majors

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
~By Al Gore

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
~BySocrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
~By Mike Tyson

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
~By George Clooney

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
~By Bill Clinton

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
~By George W. Bush

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
~By Rudy Giuliani

---------- Post Merged at 05:11 PM ----------

"There's a way of funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
~By Michael Jordan

"I've had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” The third gave me more children! ~By Donald Trump

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
~By Shaquille O’Neal

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
~By Kobe Bryant

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
By David Hasselhoff

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
~By Alec Baldwin

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
~By Barack Obama

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
~ByTommy Lee

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
~By Brad Pitt

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy : "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
~ ByJimmy Kimmel

“Honey, what happened to ‘ladies first’?” Husband replies, “That’s the reason why the world’s a mess today, because a lady went first!”
~By David Letterman

“First there’s the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring...soon after....comes Suffe r..ing!
~By Jay Leno