Mispronounce

[kandalf]

I have some funny experience regarding how non-native english speaker speak english Word. I will share some and you are welcome to share your experience.



WOO!
If you learn Chinese (Huayi/Putonghua), you will learn that pinyin letters are not pronounced as non-Chinese thought. For example, 'Q' is pronounced as "Ch" while "D" is pronounced as "T". So, instead of pronouncing the infamous Emperor "Qin Shi Huang Di", you should pronounce it "Chin Se Huang Ti".

There are even consonants which are not spoken when combined by a specific vocal. For example, you should pronounce "Yi" as "Ee" instead of "Yee". You should also pronounce "Wu" as "Oo" instead of "Woo".

One day, my pronounciation-nazi Indian friend corrected me for pronounce "Women" as simply "WOmen". He said, "No no no.. you should said 'WooMen'". I replied, "okay.. 'WooMen'". He was satisfied, "Yep. like that".

My Chinese friend, "how is the word should pronounced?".

"Wooo Men", answered the Indian.

The Chinese imitated, "Ooooooo Men".

The Indian unhappy, "No no no no no no.. WoooMen".

The Chinese repeated, "Ooooooo Men".

"No no no.. Woooooo"

"Oooooooo"

"No no no no no no.. Woooooooooo"

"Ooooooooo"


And I laughed in front of them.

[kandalf]

Fick!
I used to have a Hong Kong friend and one day we had this conversation.
HK-guy: You know, the book is fick.
Me: Pardon. Fick?
HK-guy: Yes, it is very fick.
Me: What do you mean with 'fick'.
HK-Guy: You know.. Fick.. Fick..
Me: Did you mean 'thick'?
HK-Guy: Fick.. Fick.. The opposite of Fin.
Me: *laughing silently*

[kandalf]

Carabine
One day, I speak with an Indonesian lady in a badminton court and she seemed looking for someone. There was a Japanese, let's call him Tora (I forgot his name) near us so she asked him.

Indonesian lady: Hi, Tora. Did you see Kelvin?
Tora: Who?
Indonesian Lady: Kelvin.
Tora: Who?
Indonesian Lady: Kelvin. Keeeeellllviiiinn
Tora: Oh. Did you mean Carabine.
Indonesia Lady: No no no no no! Kelvin!
Tora: Carabine.
Indonesia Lady: Kelvin!
Tora: Yes. Carabine.
Indonesia Lady: No! Kelvin
Tora: Carabine.
Me: Lady, Japanese pronounce 'v' as 'b' so he heard you right.
Indonesia Lady: (blushing) Ouch. Sorry.. Yes.. Carabine.
Tora: I haven't seen him today.
Indonesia Lady: Okay. Thank you.

[kandalf]

Masher
One day, in Brisbane CBD, after a long conversation between me and a Japanese girl, she asked me, "How is your masher?"

I wonder, "Pardon?"

She repeat, "Your masher."

I asked again, "Mus-what?"

She became hesitant and then, "you know.. Masher. Masher, Fasher, sister".

"Ooo.. My mother. She is doing well in my home country and so is my father".

[kandalf]

Sinker
I used to love books. Every time, I saw books, I would took a peek into them even when I couldn't read the letter and didn't understand the language like, my Chinese friend's book. So one day, I look at his book and saw the picture on the cover.

My friend: He was a sinker.

Me : Singer? Popular singer?

My friend: No no no no.. Sinker?

Me: Sinker? What do you mean?

My friend: Sinker.. Someone who sink.

Me: Sink? into water? Did you mean swimmer?

My friend: No.. Sinker.. (pointing his temple) Sinker.. somebody who sink.

Me: Ouu. Thinker.. Thinking..

My friend: Yes.. Sinker..

[Nowitzki]

Laugh out Loud

You made my day, Dude!